Wednesday, May 26, 2010

Not my friend...

My favorite thing to tell people...  "IT'S A GREAT DAY!  THE SUN IS SHINING!!"  Even if it's raining out...the sun is still shining above the clouds.  I love the sunshine.  The feel of it against my face and on my body.  It energizes me and fills me such wonderful memories from my childhood.  Swimming...fishing...climbing trees...baseball...kickball...especially, memories of my dad. 

BUT...the sun is not my friend.  It isn't the friend of anyone with fair skin or more importantly , with lupus.  At a young age I learned to wear sunblock and to try not to get burned.  I had dark hair with reddish tones, green eyes and porcelain skin.  I burned...peeled and turned white again...usually with spots.   My dad taught me to enjoy doing so many things outside.  But he never wore sunblock, said it was for girls.  Sunblock irritated my dad's skin so he avoided it.  The sun was not his friend.  My dad died in November of 2005 from melanoma.  Something preventable.

I am more diligent because of my fair skin and lupus.  But I miss the sun and doing my gardening and yard work...fishing and swimming.  But it's not my friend.  The sun triggers my butterfly rash and my lupus.  I also burn severely because of the medications that I take.  My lupus makes the sun even more not my friend.

Today the sun shined bright and hot.  I walked outside for a few minutes.  I stopped, lifted my face to the sky and closed my eyes.  For just that moment, feeling the heat of the sun on my face...I felt my dad's presence.  "Miss you Daddy."


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