Tuesday, June 22, 2010

Summer's Little Setback...

Imagine my surprise waking up yesterday morning with drool coming out of my mouth and not being able to talk without slurring...then my surprise when the light killed my eyes and the alarm clock sent electric shocks into my ear. Well poop.  Looking in the mirror I saw the side of my face drooping.  It felt on fire and screaming with electric jolts.  I recognized the face droop...Bell's Palsy...it's not the first time I have had it...and unfortunately I also recognized the searing screaming pain...the early signs of shingles.

GEE...Ramsey Hunt's Syndrome...again. Can't I do anything simple and easy.

I know the drill...get in to the doctor.  Get my steroids increased, add an antiviral and pray the gabapentin works fast enough on the excruciating pain.  It takes three days to build up the level of gabapentin before it really hits the pain. AND the best part here (dripping with SARCASM) I have to come off my immune suppressing/chemo meds until this resolves (hands the lupus a FREE PASS to run rampant).

I feel like I am losing the fight.  I am angry and scared and in pain.  I want to understand and see how I am supposed to learn from this.  I am tired of being sick.  I am tired of hurting and seeing my family and friends hurt for me.  I want simple...normal...healthy...even if it is only for a day or an hour.  That would be a priceless gift.

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