Sunday, January 30, 2011

Week 2: (Day 12) I love how God works...

I love how God works.  My doctor's appointment Friday didn't go as I expected it to.  My blood pressure was far too high and my asthma is not behaving.  Turns out its part of an allergic reaction to something I've been eating.  Although, Friday night I didn't know that.  In fact, I let myself get depressed and I had a massive pity party for myself thinking that it was just one more thing to add to my list of "broken" things.


On one of the forums I participate on, a young woman I know, posted early this morning about how she is considering suicide.  I had been in such a deep despair Friday night, I immediately felt a connection to her despair, although I would never consider suicide as an option.  I was able to reach out to her and let her know she wasn't alone and that she needs to find those happy moments and hold on to them and make more happy moments.  Others on the board rallied around her too.  I'd like to think we helped save a life...I just know that if I hadn't been so down and upset I might not have recognized the tone of her post.


My work has been massively stressful and we were pretty certain that was the main culprit for the high BP.  My work's environment has changed dramatically and we are losing a lot of good people because the "air" is filled with distrust and hostility.  We have had 5  full-time faculty members leave or give notice in the past 7 months and 6 staff members.  13 people in 7 months.  That is an alarming number to me...but it also is a huge red flag.  When people start jumping ship in large numbers, it may be time to re-evaluate staying.


I am trusting God to show me what he wants me to.  He will lead and I will follow.


As for my walking since Wednesday...averaging just under 10,000 steps.  The broken toe is not as painful today so I could do more.  I did only flat walking no steps or stairs...the pressure on the foot is just a bit more than I can take and probably isn't so good on the healing process.  Did my 3 sets of 10 each, bicep curls, tricep extensions and dumbbell squats with 10lb hand weights.  Also did 50 wall push ups. 


I think the positive change that I will be focusing on for the next 21 days maybe work related...but this change I am currently working on...will stay in the mix. :)


Please send me your positive changes...email or post a comment.

Wednesday, January 26, 2011

Week 2: (or Day 8) I think I can ...I think I can ...I think I can...

So...I had a teensy run in with a dresser leg and my toe.  The leg won. >.<    I got 8394 steps in today...kinda painful steps. I walked for 15 minutes today...and no stairs up...cause well it hurt.  I am seriously thinking that I am the little engine that could.  I keep telling myself that I need to keep chugging on.  I am pretty sure the toe is broke which also means that I need to baby it.  ARRRGGGHHH.  I want easy on something please.  


Work is most stressful and I wish I could figure out a way to make things better.  I just don't see a way to fix the situation.  I have never given up on anything...and I have to admit that I am feeling like that may be only option.  I keep praying to God to lead me where I need to go and show me what I need to do...to give me the words I need to say to keep the situation cool and calm.


Only positive I can say for today...my metal smithing class was AWESOME!!!  I have all my projects finished so far and I can prep my artwork for approval for my Letter project.  I am very excited.  I am thinking of a frog sitting on a log.  I have to see what clipart I can find since I suck at freehand drawing. I will try to get some pics together of the things I have made so far. 


Send me messages or leave a comment.  I want to know about your positive changes. 

Tuesday, January 25, 2011

Day 7 - Tired puppy

9221 steps today...30 minutes of walking down stairs...walked up four flights of stairs.  My knees are hating me right now...I might need to cut back on the walking up.  The walking down doesn't hurt as much but the walking up....excruciating...maybe do only 1 flight twice a day and just see how that goes.

Eating oatmeal with cranberries, raisins and currants for breakfast...lunch was an unwich from Jimmy John's...no mayo or dressing...turkey, lettuce, tomato, cucumber and onions with oregano and yellow mustard!!  Dinner...meh...not hungry...did drink 64oz of water and 20oz coca cola.

I am one tired puppy.

The stress levels at my work are at an all time high.  I have an employee who is leaving next week.  So, I need to start a job search but I do not know when my boss will have human resources post the job.  I would like to get someone fast, but there are questions about how to best allocate the work.

I wish things could be easy...and that people spoke the truth with out any agenda...I wish that trust was easily given and earned and not so easily lost or misplaced.  Then again...I wish I could hit the lottery....but you have to buy a ticket to win.

Time to change my attitude....life is what we make it.  Things will improve. Time for bed...

Monday, January 24, 2011

Day 6 – Oh my…what did I get myself into?

I did 10,938 steps today.   I walked down five flights of stairs for fifteen minutes riding the elevator up to the top floor to walk back down again…did it three times.  The last time up I took the elevator up to the 2nd floor; I stopped to get a bottle of water and then walked up the last two flights to my floor.  (Our building has a basement, in case you are wondering how I got “five” floors out of that. :P )  I had a meeting with my boss today, so I walked down and up from the third floor from that.  My knees are screaming at me so I will not walk up anymore today. 

I have been thinking about what other positive changes I can do in my life.  Making jewelry gives me such joy and passion for living.  I think I need to focus on how to make that be my “CAREER” full-time.  I am currently taking a metal smithing class at Herron School of Art.  I see such great potential for the things I can create now.  I haven’t been this excited about anything in a very long time…well…except for the love of my life…my Imzadi….oh yeah…and my kids! :P

I want to hear from you all!  Tell me about your positive changes…leave a comment…send a message to my email  (lupine.butterfly@gmail.com).   I just want to know so I can cheer you on!

GO MAKE A DIFFERENCE! ENACT A POSITIVE MOMENT FOR SOMEONE! BE THE CHANGE!


Sunday, January 23, 2011

Day 5...Resting today...not by choice

So...nothing like struggling to breathe in the wee hours of the morning only to realize that I am having not only an asthma attack but a full fledged allergic reaction.


I hate going out to eat.  We tried a new restaurant last night and I quizzed the chef and made him aware of all my numerous allergies.  He told me what dishes were safe and I ordered them.  Imagine my surprise when I find out that he cooked the flipping potatoes in CHICKEN STOCK.   So...the whole...I can SAFELY eat only turkey and pork fell on DEAF EARS.  I will never go back to that restaurant.  The pork chops were the best I have ever eaten...fork tender...thick sliced...the flavor was amazing.  BUT...that was a mistake that I can't afford to have happen again.


No work out today...or tomorrow...the hives haven't fully pulled in and I am still a little wheezy.  I freaking hate using an epipen or taking a ton of benadryl.  My face is swollen on the left side.  I feel like Quasimodo. 


I am making sure to drink plenty of water...and while I am not working out...I am doing slow stretches while sitting in bed.  Flexibility is important as is range of motion.  So it's not a complete loss.


Tell me your stories...leave a comment...send me an email at lupine.butterfly@gmail.com.

Saturday, January 22, 2011

Day 4 - Meeting my first Powerblock

My first meeting with the free hand weights...

Powerblocks are supposed to be the best style of free hand weights because of the versatility in weight amounts.  http://www.powerblock.com/Sportseries.php  This is the type of Powerblocks we have.  I am interested in trying kettlebells

I started with 15 bicep curls, 15 partial dumbbell squats...my knees didn't like going too deep and 15 tricep extensions...and 25 wall push ups.  YIPPEE!!!

The smallest weight to pick up is the ten pound weight.  I am thinking this isn't the best beginner level weight to use for someone with arthritic hands.  "Please do not let me drop this on my foot!"  (Mind you...I found out after I did my 3 sets of 5, that they could be made into 5 pound weights...I'm such a noob!)

I know it doesn't sound like a lot...each one was painful in the muscles and joints.  I will only do this two times a week until I can see how the lupus reacts to this.  It's something that my rheumatologist has given partial approval on. I need to build muscle and strengthen the bone by doing the weights...but I need to not trigger a flare.

I can tell you my hands are screaming at me from just gripping the weights.  I think a hot soak will help that for now.  Tomorrow...dancing for cardio.  


I would love to hear from you on what changes you are making.  

Friday, January 21, 2011

Day 3 - Comedy of Errors

Well...I managed to get 11, 097 steps in today.  =)


So...I left for work on time and was even going to get there early.  I get a call saying that there was car trouble at home and that I needed to turn around and come back.  Ok...I was 30 minutes out from home...I turned around and started back.  I get within 3 miles of home when I get another call telling that the car works now and I'm not needed.  HEAVY SIGH.  I turn around again and head back to work.  At this point I am 20 minutes late for work.  I get there and head to the testing center to drop of tests for a faculty member.  I leave my vehicle sitting in the fire lane with flashers going so I can run in and run back out.  I come out and try to start my truck.  DEAD.   The battery died.  


At this point, I am thinking that the universe is telling me I need to head back home and hibernate under the covers.  I call parking services to have them come give me a jump so I can head back to the office.  They tell me I need to be standing outside waiting for them to arrive.  HUH?!  It's minus two degrees outside and my truck isn't working.  It took them about 15 minutes to get there and another 10 to get me running.  I couldn't feel my feet or hands.  BAH...who needs them anyway.


I finally get settled in at my desk and the next round of things failing to work right started.  I think I had gremlins following me all day.  Three computers and a telephone.  I bought a lottery ticket because this much bad luck only means one thing...when good luck comes back to me....BOOYAH BABY!!!


Ok...so....I walked up two flights of stairs today only one time, but I did get to run all over my building just like...

CHICKEN  - HEAD = ME


Sigh....I will use free hand weights tomorrow to do some strengthening and toning of the arms and even attempt a few modified squats to be gentle on my knees.  


Hope you all are thinking about making small, positive changes in your life.



Thursday, January 20, 2011

SIGH....Day 2....

So...life is all about change.  All change can be positive if looked at in the right light.  That is what I am trying to do for me.  Make positive changes even if they are unpleasant.

Yesterday, I walked up two flights of stairs.  It was slow and painful...but I still did it.  =)

Today...meh...changes hit like a ton of bricks.  Lots of things happening at work that I won't go into here...at least not yet.  Suffice it to say, that I had no moment to myself for anything other than "chicken - head = me".

But I am determined to at least say, I got in 8472 steps today. =)  Then again, that is about average for me.

SO...tomorrow.  I have high hopes for tomorrow.

Wednesday, January 19, 2011

Making Small Changes...Day 1

One of the most difficult things to do when you have lupus is to make changes to your habits that work to keep you from hurting or expending too much energy...to fear the triggering of a flare...needing more meds to calm it down.  I get that.  Hell, I've pushed myself too hard just to prove I could still do something and then paid for it with a week of down time.  There is nothing wrong with adapting and making those small changes.  But what you must never do is give up completely.  There are some changes that we must make to improve our lives....our quality of living.


I am at a crossroads in my life...not fully happy with where I find myself...what I want for myself.  I see the proverbial fork in the road and I know I must take the one less traveled. Ah...Robert Frost...a wonderful poet...he stated it well in his "Road Not Taken" poem. 


"...I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I
I took the one less traveled by 
And that has made all the difference."


Every choice we make is the fork in the road...albeit some are very tiny forks and others are gianormous...consider doing the difficult choice, standing up for what is right just because it is the right thing to do....because being happy is truly important...because love is more than enough...WAY MORE THAN ENOUGH.


Today is the first day of my life!  I am ready for change.  I have the the goal to make one change every 21 days.  The reason for every 21 days...apparently that is how long it takes to make something new become a habit.  :) 


I will spend 15 minutes walking stairs twice a day during my days at work.  The bigger part of this goal is to be able to walk up all five flights of stairs by the end of the 21 days.  This should be enough to not aggravate my lupus or arthritis in my knees and hips while still giving me the benefit of strengthening my legs and toning my butt!!!


I will keep you all posted on my progress!